Tricks For Stopping Imposter Syndrome
“What if they find out I don’t know what I am doing?”, “Do I qualify to do this?”, “Am I doing enough?”. These are thoughts clients have shared with me as a therapist at Speak Life Transformation. They describe feeling overwhelmed by thoughts connected to their experience with imposter syndrome.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome occurs when someone’s internal dialogue consistently doubts their abilities, causing feelings of inadequacy despite evidence of their success. There is overthinking that compares self to others and requires perfection. Imposter syndrome can cause anxiety due to the persistent worry about being enough and what others think. In this post, I will be sharing the 3 Ps of imposter syndrome and how to confidently show up in spaces as your true self.
How Imposter Syndrome Impacts Your Confidence
People Pleasing
Imposter syndrome creates the worry about being judged about your work ethic, belonging with the group, talking badly about yourself to others, etc. This fear of judgment can easily lead to people pleasing as a way to prevent a judgment from happening.
People pleasing can cause you to say yes to things you do not want to do, change how you show up in spaces, and can even change how you think. All of this happens because you begin to believe, “If I do, say, and act the way they want me to then I will be accepted and avoid judgment.”
Personalizing
Personalizing is when you take responsibility for something that you are not responsible for because you believe your actions influenced the negative outcome. Another way to think about personalizing is self-blame. The self-blame can cause perceived rejection and blame for something that does not have anything to do with you.
For example, your supervisor assigned a role you wanted to someone else and you immediately believe it’s because you don’t work long hours like your coworker. Here’s another example, while having a conversation you noticed that another person didn’t respond to your question and you begin to question if you said the right thing or did something to offend the person.
Proving
Many high achievers struggle with imposter syndrome because they often do not see their best as ever being enough. A hamster wheel of chasing perfection is created, causing overwhelmed feelings and burnout. There is this idea that “I have to prove that I belong here, that I deserve a seat at the table.” The pressure to prove your worth and value does not allow mistakes or provide the space to recognize that your best is enough.
How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Many times the judgment you fear you will receive from others is the judgment you have of yourself. By working on transforming your self-judgment to empathy and self-belief, you won’t fear others thinking negatively of you because you no longer think negatively of yourself. These 4 principles for believing in and being your authentic self, will help you change the mindset the 3Ps created.
Accept Imperfections
I am sure you have heard this before, so here is a friendly reminder… No human being is perfect. Once you allow yourself to be ok with your imperfections and accept that you will make mistakes, you will stop working so hard to fix, erase, and prevent them. There is nothing wrong with wanting personal growth, but when the focus is on less growth and more on fixing your identity you will rarely feel enough. Give yourself permission to ask for help, make mistakes, and be different.
Trust Yourself
The top secret for overcoming imposter syndrome is trusting in your skills, gifts, and strengths; believing that they are real and do exist. The overthinking that occurs with imposter syndrome questions if you really know what’s best for you and if you really have what it takes. Your skills, talents, strengths, and accomplishments all are evidence that proves you do know and you do have what it takes. You just have to trust and believe that to be true.
Live In The Now
Have you ever physically been somewhere, but mentally somewhere else? Comparison thoughts, thoughts replaying a past event, and thoughts worrying about a future event will definitely cause this. The 3Ps mentioned earlier create thoughts about how someone else is better at something if you made the best decision and all the things you need to complete preventing you from being able to be present in conversations or enjoy successes.
Living in the now gives you the power to let go of things you cannot change and things you have no control over. It helps you accept the ending of a past situation and the unknown of a future situation so you can embrace the reality of a present situation.
Honor Your Truth
Honoring and loving what makes you, you will defeat any self-doubt. You will no longer believe you need to be fixed because you can see the beauty in every aspect of your life story. You will sit in boardrooms and engage in social conversations confidently knowing who you are and what you offer.
This does require healing from any past events that caused trauma and emotional distress so that you reach a place of forgiveness and be able to find that beauty. Showing up as your true self means you have accepted who she is and chosen to love her unconditionally.
Imposter syndrome attacks your self-worth, but you have the power to take it back. Here is a recap of how.
Accept Imperfections
Trust Yourself
Live In The Now
Honor Your Truth
Want Help With Overcoming Imposter Syndrome?
Speak Life Transformation offers online therapy for those residing in Pennsylvania and New Jersey and online confidence coaching to women worldwide. Complete the inquiry form for the service you would like to schedule a free consultation for. You will meet with Natasha to share the type of support you are looking for and to ask any questions. Finally, begin your transformation journey.
Natasha Bryant, LCSW
Natasha is a psychotherapist and confidence coach helping women set self-love boundaries, go after their dream careers, and heal from past hurts. That’s what sparks her joy…empowering women to unapologetically live their best life as their best selves. She owns a private practice in Philadelphia, PA providing online mental health and wellness services. She is an author, self-proclaimed foodie, travel enthusiast, and a down-to-earth "Hope Dealer" who creates a space for clients to own their story and live it out authentically.
Other Mental Health & Wellness Services At Speak Life Transformation
Confidence Coaching and Therapy for women is not the only service we offer. We’re able to offer a wide range of mental health services online anywhere in Pennsylvania and New Jersey and consultation services worldwide. Other mental wellness services Speak Life Transformation provides include couples therapy, therapy for anxiety, teen therapy, school-based trauma-informed care, and corporate wellness care. We have black therapists for clients looking for a therapist who is a part of the BIPOC community and also therapists who have a faith-based background for clients looking to incorporate faith-based principles in therapy. All therapy services are currently provided via video Telehealth. Check here for our YouTube channel, and our FAQs, and let’s get started today!
